Well, I hate to admit it, but maybe my friend was right. See, she's a Deaconess in the United Methodist Church--it's a lifetime commissioning/commitment to be in ministries of love, justice, and service--and she swears up and down that if I won't leave the UCC for the UMC to become a Deaconess, at the very least I will do something similar. She keeps asking me pointed questions about overseas mission, and talking about programs like AmeriCorps. When I demure, she tells me she knows it when she sees it, and she sees it in me.
I didn't think about it too much, until this weekend. For my Gospel of Luke class, I wrote a contemporization of Luke's Passion narrative--from the last supper until Jesus is laid in the tomb--which was surprisingly a powerful experience for me (and if you'd like to read it, just ask and I'll send you a copy). I based my modern-day Jesus character on Shane Claiborne, the founder of a group called The Simple Way, people who are trying to follow Jesus' commands to love God and love one another, especially through living in community and working to end poverty.
As part of my intended research for my paper, I borrowed Shane's book, The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical from the library. After realizing I didn't really need it to write my paper, I made myself wait to read any of it until I was done with my studies. I finished the paper Sunday morning (two days before it was due, thankyouverymuch), and started the book Sunday afternoon. I've been reading it in bits and pieces, and haven't finished it yet. But I'm feeling a tug on my heart, and a knotty feeling in my gut, which in my experience usually means that God's calling me to something. I feel the same way when I read anything about kids in foster care and orphanages, and I felt the same way when I started looking at seminaries.
So as I continue reading Shane's stories, I'm taking a lot of deep breaths, and just keeping myself open--to the guidance of the Spirit, to new possibilities for my life...and to the distinct chance that maybe my Deaconess friend was right after all.
(photo of simple way mural by pro-adventure)
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hi,
ReplyDeleteI can relate with your experience, there really are times when you feel that God compels you to do things and you know that it's what He wants you to do, sometimes it's hard to accept it, but most of the time you will not rest easy until you actually follow Him. I bid you good luck on your journey (??) and I know that the Spirit will guide you towards the right path ^_^