Happy (sexy) Halloween

I think Tina Fey got it right in Mean Girls. Lindsay Lohan's character dresses up for Halloween in a scary zombie bride (or "ex-wife") costume, and laments that no one told her that Halloween is really a chance for girls to dress as scantily and sexy as possible.

And I have to admit, somehow my subconscious is buying into it. I went to a Halloween party this past weekend, where the theme was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Thinking I'd be creative, I went as a Toys R Us kid--you know, "I don't wanna grow up..." However, as I was contemplating how to create this costume, I kept thinking, "but if I do this, I won't look sexy." Hello? Since when is this necessary? Men certainly don't consider that when picking out a costume (and if this is incorrect, men, please let me know). They go for most creative, or simply fun.

I went with a denim skirt, knee socks, and a form-fitting tee (on which I placed the Toys R Us logo and KID in big letters). I looked cute, but I wouldn't say sexy. At the party though, there was a French maid in an itty bitty skirt, a sexy sailor, Tina Turner, Betty Boop, and a couple other amiguous sexy costumes. Yes, there were a few who went for fun--a woman in pj's with pigtails and freckles, an astronaut. But even Ike Turner (played by a woman) was wearing skin tight pants.

And apparently, this idea is quickly flowing from adult culture to girls. An article Tuesday in the Washington Post discusses the costumes being marketed to girls--most including showing much more skin than an 8-yr-old should ever show outside a pool. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/29/AR2007102902095.html

Is this a result of feminism? We feel we can't dress slutty for most of the year, so we do it on Halloween? We're repressed normally, so we take the chance to let it all out one night of the year? There is something about a costume that allows you to be more adventurous than we might normally be--the idea that "it's not me, it's the costume," but I think somehow we've crossed a line, especially if we're marketing this idea to girls.

Boys and men are having fun being ninjas, Spiderman, gladiators and Spanish cartoon characters (those last two were present at the party I attended). Why can't girls and women do the same, without feeling the need to make every costume "sexy?"

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Artistic endeavors

First of all, I hope you enjoy my new layout & template. The lighthouse just wasn't working for me anymore. Now, on to the blatherings...

I've been bad this week. For large chunks of time (hours, people) since I got back to NYC Sunday night, I've avoided doing my reading for class in favor of working on a new art project.

It all started innocently enough. I was on the bus, bored as usual but not wanting to sleep, so I pulled out one of the magazines I bought for research on my senior project. It was a new discovery called Cloth Paper Scissors and features mixed-media projects and artists. Well, I dog-eared a few pages, but one project looked so great I knew I need to start right away: a recycled-book sketchbook. Perfect for sketching out senior project ideas!

Tuesday morning I went out and bought the glue and gesso I needed. I put the bag on the common room table where I could see it and use it as motivation to get my homework done as fast as possible. Reward systems work for me, what can I say. Bare minimum done, I started the book, figuring I could finish that evening, allowing the glue to dry during class.

Well, unforunately gluing every 3-4 pages together of a 160-pg book takes a while. It took me about 4 shifts just to glue. Then there's the gluing of the collage on each new thicker page, and THEN you get to gesso over that.

So last night as I watched a fabulous Josh Beckett (I love you!) take the mound in Cleaveland for a 7-1 win over the Indians--on to game 6!--I managed to gesso the whole book.

Now, as I think about my weekend plans and homework responsibilities, I am pondering whether to just leave the cover as is (with title of recycled book in view on spine) or invest some more time and energy into gluing some fabric on it....what do you think I'll choose?

Oh, and on an "it-could-only-happen-to-me" note, I somehow managed to get poison ivy in Brooklyn and a splinter in my toe while wearing shoes and socks. Seriously...

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And this is why I feel the need to be "evangelical"

The UCC website reported recently on a study released by The Barna Group about young people's attitudes on Christianity (http://www.ucc.org/news/study-young-people-see.html). It's not pretty, but it's not surprising. One of the reasons I feel called to ministry is to share my relationship with a God who loves all of us, and to share what may seem to many as a radical Christian faith.

For a long time, I was one of those young people who didn't want to call myself Christian. The majority of Christians that are in the media, that get seen by the general audience, don't represent my beliefs. It is no wonder the young people in our country see Christians as anti-gay and narrow-minded--those are the only voices we hear. We hear about male Christian pastors caught in relationships with other men who after a few weeks of therapy are "cured" of their homosexuality (nevermind the fact that adultery was committed). We hear about bishops of a major mainline Protestant denomination deciding to "exercise restraint" and not consecrate partnered gay bishops, as well as promising not to authorize "any public rites of blessing of same-sex unions." We often hear of prominent Evangelical pastors preaching on the "immorality" of hosts of things from Harry Potter to education about contraceptives.

And this is why I feel the call to ministry, and this is why I call myself Christian, and this is why I call myself evangelical (notice the lowercase "e"). Evangelical means telling the Good News. A group of Christians have co-opted this title to basically mean bringing the Good News of Jesus Christ as Savior--or else. Well, I'm taking it back--the name Christian, the title evangelical. I want to share the Good News of Jesus who shared meals with outcasts and "sinners." I want to share the Good News of the realm of God in which there is food for the hungry, freedom of the captives, and justice for the oppressed. I want to share a love of God which is so powerful, so encompassing that we can ever do anything so bad that it would make God stop loving us (this is not to say God does not get angry or pass judgment, however--but that's another topic for another time). I want to share a faith that welcomes the imperfect, the doubting, the questioning, the hesitant.

And most of all, I want to let people--and especially young people-- know that not all forms of Christianity are anti-gay, judgmental, and hypocritical. Yes, all organized religion has its problems and shortcomings, and we are no different. But there are Christians out there, like me and like many of the people I know, worship with, and go to school with, who embrace a much more welcoming message.

And we need to speak up.

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Just call me an artiste!

It continually amazes me how much I can get done by procrastinating. No, no, not the stuff I should be doing--everything else.

Here I am on a beautiful fall day in NH. Due to lack of motivation this weekend, instead of just having a vacation, I've been left with a paper to research and write before Thursday. I've managed to look through two books, read a total of about 20 pages, and written nothing.

I have however vacuumed, raked the lawn, done work for my internship, read last month's Glamour, played with the cat AND the dog, and cooked (and eaten) two meals. I'm not sure why I tend to choose housework as my procrastination tool, but I do. This past Sunday I managed to do five loads of laundry, thoroughly clean the common room, re-make my bed and vacuum part of my room before 1pm. Notice that none of that at all involved schoolwork. Hmmm...

Well, now that I've successfully updated my blog, I suppose now it might be time to do some more studying. Oh, wait, I need to bake those raspberry bars for Mom...

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Virtual childhood

I saw a commercial last night for a new toy that left me a little incredulous. It's made a company (who shall remain nameless) I recognize as generally having good toys for kids: fun, developmentally appropriate, and many times educational as well.

They have come out with a new toy, however, that makes me wonder if kids growing up now will remember how to actually do anything in the real world, as opposed to the virtual world. The new toy, through an electronic drawing pad and a computer, allows kids to virtually paint, draw, and create an array of fun crafts including (as shown on TV) a crown and paper flowers.

Hello? How about sitting the child down with a smock, water colors and some paper and letting them have at it in real life? Sure, it's a little more messy, and unless you're using a coloring book, the horses sometimes look like castles and vice versa, but that's part of the experience! Pipe cleaners and tissue paper make great flowers!

Look, in my opinion, kids (and let's be honest, adults as well), spend way too much time in front of screens already. Don't put their art and creativity there as well!

Besides, does anyone else think that by creating art on a computer and then printing it off, kids miss out on the tactile and sensory fun that goes along with arts and crafts? The cool color the water turns when paint colors mix. The smell of crayons, and the feel of the paper wrapping . Holding scissors and trying to make them go the right direction. The sound of stamps going back and forth from ink pad to paper, ink pad to paper. Glue--the smell, the squishy-ness, and the way it peels off your hand like skin when it's dry. The marker-stained hands, arms, and faces worn like a badge of honor for art worked hard for.

Life is messy and meant to be touched, tasted (who didn't taste at least one art supply as a kid?), seen, smelled, heard and felt in many ways. It's not meant to be experienced all nice and sterile in front of a screen.

Excuse me now, I've got to glue some pom-poms and feathers. Just because!

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Staying in the bedroom

Apparently, according to an article in the NY Times today (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/14/nyregion/14sex.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion&oref=slogin), third graders in Evesham Townships, NJ are stupid. Or really, really smart. Either way, officials there believe that it's not appropriate for them to see a video on family diversity called, "That's a Family!" because one of the kids has two dads. As in, his dads are gay. Gasp!

This is one of those moments when I'm again reminded how annoyed I get at the phrase "what goes on in the bedroom between two people is their private business" (or something to that effect), a statement many well-meaning people use to show how not homophobic they are.

Here's the thing with that phrase though, and I think what's wrong with parents deeming this video inappropriate for third graders (but may be ok when they're in fifth grade, according to one parent): gay relationships aren't just about what goes on in the bedroom any more than straight relationships are. You never have a heterosexual couple try to enter a community and people saying that what goes on in the bedroom is private business, and yet that's what people think of homosexual couples. It's all about sex, not love, or deciding who takes out the garbage or whether or not to buy a new car.

Touting this video as inappropriate for 8-year-olds makes it seem like by teaching about gay parents, they're teaching about gay sex. They're not. And most 8-year-olds I know aren't going to go there any more than they're going to go there with the straight parents.

What it seems this video is trying to say (and I'm guessing, since I haven't seen it), is that families are different in many ways. They look different, some are big and some are small, some are quiet and some are loud. But here's what's quoted from a kid with two dads in the video: "It’s really cool have to two gay dads, because they brought us into a home, and they adopted us, and they love us." They love us.

Families should be about love, people. Of course, not all of them are, and that's a shame. But when you have a family that loves each other, that should be celebrated. No matter how that family's made up. And unfortunately, many of the third graders in Evesham Township, NJ will not get that lesson.

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News to me!

Apparently, I'm not a true Christian. If I were Orthodox, I would be close, but not quite there. As a Protestant though, I have significant wounds and am not part of the true Church. Or something like that. All this according to the current Pope. No, I'm not joking. I wish I were.

Now, I'll be honest. I haven't read the official paper. All I'm basing this on is what cnn.com tells me. I do plan on reading it though. As does my friend Cheryl, who's Catholic and apologized profusely for the Pope's ignorance. Actually, she used much stronger words, but I'll let her share that in confession. ;-)

It continually amazes me that every time I think we are coming closer to being one holy, catholic (note the lower-case "c," look it up if there's confusion) church, someone says or does something like this and I think we're back to square one.

If believing that there are many paths to the Divine, that God is about love and justice and presence, and that being a part of the Body of Christ means loving one another as we would be loved, instead of putting labels and requirements on people and groups, and fences between insiders and outsiders, and barriers between those who know (and claim to follow) the Truth and everyone else means that I'm not a part of the true Christian Church, then so be it. If being a true Christian means doing what Pope Benedict says, than I don't want to be a Christian.

Please note that this is NOT a post against Catholics or Catholicism, simply about the opinions of one man.

Blessed be!

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Expect the unexpected

Ok, first of all, I apologize to anyone who actually was trying to follow this blog, as it's been 6 mo and 14 days since I last posted. Whoops. I guess seminary studies and field education duties got in the way...

A quick update on my life in the past 6 mo: I completed my second year at Union Theological Seminary very well indeed, although really no closer to cementing my career direction. My field education experience was wonderful, although as my supervisor put it, "I"m not sure if this experience pushed Beth closer to parish ministry or further away from it." At the time I said closer, but as usual it's a day-to-day thing with me. I was part of Union's production of the Vagina Monologues (yay for Rev. Elsa Peters' "Prayer for My Pussy!") and played Sara Jane Moore in "Assassins" (also put on at Union). I also organized Union's very first prom--that's right--which was (a little surprisingly) a great success. I turned 28 in April. I was a bridesmaid in my friend Darlene's wedding. My little sister graduated from college. And now, dear readers, I am out of the City for the summer and back at home in NH doing Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE--doing chaplaincy in a hospital), which is where this post comes in.


One of the biggest things I have learned in my first three weeks here is that life can change in an instant. Intellectually, yes, I've known this, but here in a hospital that serves as the regional trauma center I've really internalized it. A boy gets hit with a bat at Little League, and the CT scan for injuries uncovers a brain tumor. A woman gets ready for a heart stress test and before they can do it dies in front of her family. Kids race from a relative's house to their home for bathing suits, and one ends up with a traumatic head injury and possible brain damage. A healthy pregnancy ends in a stillbirth. One thing I've heard many times already is how unexpected everything is.

It makes sense, right? I mean, no one in their five-year plan says, "I'm going to get a promotion, I'm going to buy a house, I'm going to get diagnosed with breast cancer." Our supervisor is always chiding us for "predicting the future"--saying that we know how someone will react or how we will feel in a certain situation. Of course, we don't know. But on a grander scale, we need to realize this as well, because we do tend to plan--our futures, our relationships, our retirements. Someday we'll go to Hawaii. Someday we'll start that business. When I'm old I'll be this way. When I'm a grandparent my life will be like this. Who knows what curves life will throw us, though.

I'm not saying that we should be worried all the time. Just the opposite, in fact. I believe we should enjoy every moment we can. And if that unexpected turn in the road appears, we'll know that we really have lived with what we had--and that we can continue to live, if differently--without a loved one, with reduced function, with a terminal illness.

There is (what I believe to be) a Jewish tradition of thanking God for little things, and often. For instance, if asked, "How are you today?" the response might be, "I'm well, God be thanked." Today I'm really reflecting on this gratitude. I've been tired and stressed and just generally run down. But I am alive, and healthy, as are my loved ones. By the grace of God go I...and thanks be to God for my blessings.

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Food for Fines

I don’t often toot my own horn. No, honestly. But I want to share the story of a program I started that is now run all around the country. I will admit that similar programs began around the same time, so I suppose I really can’t say mine was the original. However, it was one of the first, and I did come up with it on my own. By the way, did I mention that I was 10?

In the late fall of 1989, a lot of people were being laid off. Where I lived, in southern NH, things seemed particularly tough. Many people in the area worked for the computer company Digital, and in the struggling economy, whole groups were let go at one time. My parents were among the lucky ones who made it through with jobs intact.

In those days, I spent a good deal of time at the public library. Mondays and Thursdays it was open until 8, so I could walk over after school and my parents could pick me up when they got out of work. One afternoon, right around this time of year, I was sitting in the children’s area and for whatever reason was thinking about the local food pantry. There had recently been a lot of publicity about the need for donations as the number of families using their resources had increased. Suddenly, it hit me: why couldn’t the library collect non-perishable food items in placeof fines for overdue books? It would benefit both parties. The library would get their books back, and the food pantry would get their shelves filled. The children’s librarian agreed, and so did the library director. I named it “Food for Fines,” we set up a huge box for donations, and the local newspaper even did a story on me. And if you Google the phrase“Food for Fines,” you’ll get about 1.8 million results.

It was such a small thing, and yet I'm sure has helped thousands of people around the country. I try to remember the Food for Fines program whenever I try to come up with some big idea that will change the world. Maybe it doesn't have to be a big idea. Small, simple changes can make big impacts too. There are two quotes from Mother Teresa (one of my heroes) that I think really get this idea: "If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one," and "In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." Yup, I think that about sums it up.

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New Orleans rising...or is it?

There's big excitement in New Orleans today. The hometown football team, the Saints, are returning to play in the Superdome, an arena that during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina last year became a symbol of all that went wrong during the disaster. People were going without food or clean water, or bathroom facilities. People were dying in a place that was supposed to be their salvation.

And now the Superdome has undergone a $186 million renovation, is sparkling with newness and rebirth, and will re-open today with roaring crowds and music groups including U2 and Green Day. Great, right? What was a symbol of devastation and tragedy is now a symbol of hope and renewal. Right?

Well, I'm not quite sure. Something just doesn't sit right with me. While all that money (not public, to be sure) was poured into a sports arena, people are still trying to just get their homes gutted, nevermind trying to rebuild. Money is slow to come from government agencies, and I'd guess that money to charitable agencies has slown down as well. Sure, re-opening the Superdome means jobs, and income to the area, and people filling up empty hotel rooms.

But who gets to enjoy those games? Who gets to go and cheer in that brand new stadium? Not the people who are still trying to piece their lives together, the people whose homes still look as they did a year ago. Not the people who live in New Orleans (hence filling hotel rooms). And from the looks of the news report I saw last night, not any person of color.

So while the renovation and re-opening of the Superdome is a light of the promise of New Orlean's return to its former glory, I'm still asking myself if indeed everything will go back to the way it was before Katrina. Because I don't think that's a something to aspire to.

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What's in a name?

I've decided to change my name.

This is not a decision I'm taking lightly, or making spontaneously. This is something that I've been mulling over for a few months now. I've spoken to someone who did it herself last year. I've spoken to my family (who all think it's weird, but are supportive of me). From other people, the reactions have ranged from, "Huh, that's interesting," to "Really?!? WHY??" So, why am I doing it?

Well, to start off, it's my last name I'm changing, not my first. I think Elizabeth/Beth/Bethy fits me quite well. And I'm not going crazy with the new last name, I'm actually just changing it back to what it was a few generations ago--Boisvert (for you non-French speakers, it's pronounce bwah- VAIR). So I'm reclaiming that French-Canadian heritage. Although it has been argued that my family has very little, if any, French-Canadian culture left (my ancestor forbade speaking French and pushed for total assimilation into American society), I feel that it's a start to at least have to stop explaining how my last name is really French.

Although my family does not know this yet (though of course they may now), I am also adding my mother's family name, Cates, as a second middle name. I've considered at some point using both (hyphenated or not), but at the moment I'll just revel in having a slightly shorter (though much harder to spell and pronounce) last name.

This was a very interesting summer for me. While not eventful in the traditional sense--my days mostly consisted of babysitting, reading, and working in the library--it was hugely significant to my sense of self. I inadvertently set out on a journey of self-discovery, and whoa, did I discover myself. I'll save all those details for another blog, but suffice to say that by the end of June, I already was feeling not quite like my old self, and by August, I felt like I was just not the same person that had started out 2006. So this is one way to embrace that new self.

Re-naming is not something really new or different or trendy. The Bible places a lot of emphasis on names and naming, and there are quite a few instances of people being given new names at significant points in their lives. Take for example, Abraham and Sarah (formerly Abram and Sarai), Israel (formerly Jacob), and Peter (formerly Simon). There are also many places when God calls a person by his or her name, like he did to Samuel. Think, too, on all the names Isaiah gives to the coming king: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Now, although I am assuredly excited about claiming my new name (though not the paperwork that goes with it), I have moments, too, where I know I will miss my old name, and it certainly will always sound a part of me. But that happens with change, doesn't it? While we may be thrilled and ready to move on to our next place, or challenge, or journey, there is usually a part of us that is saddened at leaving the old behind, for we know we can never it will never be that way again. Even if we go back to visit, even if we are with the same people, life continues to push on, continues moving forward, and nothing is the same.

So even as I embrace my new self, and new name, I also look back on who I have been. I am not so much leaving it behind as packing it up to take with me as I too push on and continue moving forward.

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In the beginning...

So I'm biting the bullet and falling in with this whole blog trend. It's Barbara's fault, really. She gets paid to blog. As a poor seminary student, I'd love that to happen to me! (Besides the fact that having to blog would be a great excuse to put off reading Kant.)

In this space I'll try my best to avoid the inane chronicles of what I had for breakfast and what the weather was and instead focus on the struggles and triumphs of my late 20-something progressive female seminary student life. Hopefully that should be at least a bit more interesting.

Until the next time...

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